The Importance of Money and Status for Getting into Private School
If you’re considering starting a family or already have a young child, you’ll find this discussion on navigating preschool admissions particularly relevant. I’ve conducted a real-world experiment to illustrate the challenges of securing a spot in private preschools without substantial financial resources or social clout.
In 2017, we began our journey by applying to a preschool that admitted toddlers starting at age two for the 2019/2020 academic year. Subsequently, we applied to five additional preschools in San Francisco and Honolulu that accepted children older than three for the following year. As newcomers to the process, we opted to play it safe.
Despite the prevalent emphasis on diversity and inclusion within these institutions, achieving these ideals is often hindered by entrenched practices such as legacy admissions and substantial donations, which effectively act as barriers to entry.
Applying to School Without Money, Status, or Connections
To test if a simple, straightforward application could succeed, we took the following steps:
1. We listed our occupations honestly on the application—myself as a writer and high school tennis coach, and my wife as a stay-at-home parent and writer. Given these professions don’t command high incomes, this placed us below the median household income for San Francisco, emphasizing our financial modesty.
2. Although we had connections at the first two preschools we applied to, we chose not to name-drop in the applications.
3. We aimed to strengthen our application by highlighting our flexible schedules, willingness to volunteer, and my experience in high school coaching, which could benefit the preschool community.
Outcome of Our Preschool Applications
Our application to the first preschool, located conveniently near my tennis club, was unsuccessful. The director explained the competitive nature of the process—80 applications for a single spot not reserved for siblings. The second preschool, a Mandarin-immersion program, also rejected us despite its high tuition and our genuine interest in its language offerings. This preschool didn’t provide the courtesy of a personalized rejection, which felt impersonal after our invested effort and time.
Reflections on the Admissions Process
After these rejections, it became clear that admissions at prestigious preschools hinge significantly on financial capabilities and social standing. A board member from the second preschool candidly remarked that our financial profile made us less desirable candidates, especially given the school’s ongoing fundraising efforts and high tuition costs. This conversation illuminated the stark reality that financial contributions are often a critical consideration in admissions decisions.
Insights for Prospective Parents
If you aspire to enroll your child in a top private preschool, presenting yourself as affluent and influential can significantly improve your chances. Schools assess the financial reliability of prospective families as much as, if not more than, the qualities of the children. Being seen as a potential major donor or someone who can enhance the school’s community and reputation through your social connections can make a crucial difference.
Embracing the Hard Truths
The world of private education, much like other elite institutions, operates on its own set of rules, often emphasizing wealth and connections over genuine diversity and inclusion. Recognizing this can help you navigate the system more effectively or make peace with alternative educational paths that may be more aligned with your values or financial situation.
Ultimately, we were accepted into our third choice preschool, which turned out to be the best fit for us. It was the most accessible, offered substantial parent involvement, and did not hinge on our financial status or connections. This experience underscores that while money and status dominate much of the private school landscape, there are still environments where your values and commitment to education are appreciated and rewarded.
