Dear older parents, having kids later in life might just be the best decision you could make. I once regretted having children at a later age because I was so wrapped up in my career. I thought having my first child at 34 would have been ideal, but life had other plans, and I started at 39 instead.
A conversation with my friend Carlos opened my eyes to the benefits of being an older, financially stable parent. When I shared with Carlos that I was 44 with a young son, he was shocked. He couldn’t believe that at his age of 48, his son was already 24. Carlos often shared how his son hadn’t lived up to his potential in sports, which seemed to be a source of regret for him.
Carlos’ life had its complexities. He divorced when his son was eight, and the relationship with his son suffered after that. He revealed that most of the quality time parents spend with their children dwindles significantly after they turn 18, as kids go off to college or start their own lives. The reality struck me hard when Carlos pointed out how old I’d be when my son turned 20. However, it made me realize something crucial about being an older parent.
While younger parents have their advantages, older parents like me have the opportunity to spend quality time with our children precisely because we are often more established and financially secure. I’ve crunched the numbers and figured out that despite the late start, I can actually spend more cumulative minutes with my child by the time he reaches adulthood than many other parents manage.
In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the primary role of a parent is largely concentrated in the first 18 years. It’s about quality and quantity of time spent that forms the foundation of the child’s future.
After breaking it down, I found that older parents can still come out ahead in time spent with their children compared to younger parents. Carlos, for instance, after his divorce, saw his son just once a week, and then only a few times a year once his son went to college. By contrast, I spend hours each day with my children, planning to maximize every moment until they reach adulthood.
This analysis doesn’t just give me peace; it motivates me to make the most of the years when my children are still home. It reassures me that starting later hasn’t put me at a disadvantage—it’s given me a different set of opportunities.
Furthermore, being an older parent who is financially independent brings additional benefits. We can afford more family trips, attend school events, and be present for everyday moments that matter without the stress of financial instability.
In conclusion, if you’re an older individual contemplating parenthood, know that it has its unique advantages. The key isn’t just the time you spend, but how you choose to fill those moments with meaningful experiences.
