With the presidential election just around the corner, it’s that time when candidates ramp up their charm to win our votes. They promise the world, hoping to either gain new power or hold onto it. I’ve got a list of top policies that if promised, would win my vote in a heartbeat—take note, politicians! Everyone should think about what they want from their government, especially if you’re contributing to federal income taxes. It’s essential to demand value for our money since failing to pay these taxes could land us in hot water.
For a start, Social Security should be guaranteed for everyone under 40 without cutting current benefits, except perhaps for my parents, my blog readers, and a few others I favor. This tough choice means spreading the burden more broadly.
Then, how about free healthcare for everyone in America, funded by the so-called Axis of Evil? With health issues being a major bankruptcy cause, it’s only fair that the rich shouldn’t skip the queue for rare medical treatments.
We could also mandate that every American spends at least $3,000 annually on products from Bay Area companies to boost the local economy—think of how many are splurging on iPhones without a second thought!
Corporate giants with significant profits should be mandated to hire more, leveraging their massive cash reserves. Simultaneously, small businesses should get tax breaks to encourage hiring rather than penalties.
What if we increased homeowner bailouts to revitalize the housing market? Encourage banks to lower mortgage rates for all and forgive more mortgage debt to stimulate both housing and employment.
Consider raising tolls on the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges to $25 to cut traffic and pollution, pushing more people towards public transportation while supporting the car industry with a new bailout.
Let’s impose a whopping 1,000% tariff on cigarettes, pushing the cost per pack up to $40-$90. It’s a health measure and a potential election swinger. And while we’re at it, why not legalize marijuana, learning from the happiest folks in Amsterdam?
Making 99 weeks of unemployment benefits permanent would provide a safety net, ensuring those retiring soon can rely on it. Further, extend benefits up to 300 weeks for those in vital but undervalued sectors like teaching and non-profits.
Tax the super-rich harder, with a 70% income tax on earnings above $2 million and an added wealth tax for colossal fortunes. It won’t bridge the deficit, but it’ll sure make the rest of us feel a bit better.
Finally, any politician who doesn’t follow through on campaign promises should face prison time. We need to hold our leaders accountable—how else will we teach our children about integrity?
This election is set to be a spectacle. To all candidates: deliver on these points, and you’ve got my vote. And to everyone outside California, thanks in advance for bailing us out should we overspend again. Go USA!
