Reflecting on my journey as a stay-at-home dad over the past two years has been an enlightening experience. Since 2017, when I first decided to stay home with my son, my life has transformed in unimaginable ways. This post is for all the fathers contemplating a similar path, providing insights and reflections on what it truly means to be a full-time dad.
The day my son was born is still vivid in my memory. He arrived at 11:58 pm after just an hour of labor, marking the most incredible moment of our lives. From that point on, my wife and I dedicated ourselves to giving him the best care possible, a commitment that eventually led both of us to become stay-at-home parents.
Over these two years, which I originally documented in 2019 and have now sent to my son’s email for future reading, I’ve come to realize a few profound truths about being a stay-at-home dad:
1. The Value of Time Over Money
I could have been earning between $400,000 to $1,000,000 in the finance and online media industry, with my experience and qualifications. However, no amount of money could replace the moments I’ve witnessed—his first smile, first steps, and first words. These milestones are priceless, far outweighing any financial loss.
2. The Challenges of Full-Time Parenthood
Being a stay-at-home dad is undoubtedly the toughest job I’ve ever had, far more demanding than my 14-hour days in the banking sector. The constant vigilance required to prevent accidents and the emotional resilience needed to handle the daily highs and lows of parenting are monumental tasks. The days are long, filled with repetitive tasks and continual vigilance, but they are also incredibly rewarding.
3. Financial Creativity and Sacrifice
Despite the significant drop in our immediate income, my wife and I have found ways to adapt financially. By waking up earlier and managing my time more efficiently, I’ve been able to focus on generating passive income through various projects. This financial creativity has not only helped us cope with reduced earnings but also brought a renewed sense of purpose to our lives.
4. The Irreplaceable Role of a Parent
Through interacting with other parents and observing nannies, I’ve seen that no one can match the dedication and love a parent brings to their child’s life. Whether it’s engaging in endless games, explaining the world around them, or simply being present in every little moment, the role of a parent is irreplaceable.
5. Health and Well-Being
Staying active and managing my health became crucial, especially as I found myself gaining weight from the less active lifestyle of a stay-at-home dad. Incorporating walks, returning to tennis, and ensuring I stayed physically active were necessary to maintain my health.
6. Social Perceptions and Realities
Surprisingly, I encountered less discrimination than expected. Most people I met were supportive or indifferent to my role as a stay-at-home dad. This acceptance has been comforting and has helped solidify my confidence in my parenting path.
7. Reflections on Timing and Family Planning
Looking back, I sometimes wish we had started our family earlier. The physical demands of parenting are definitely easier to manage at a younger age. Yet, having children later has also given us more financial stability and time to spend with them without the pressing concerns of early career development.
Being a stay-at-home dad has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life. It’s a role filled with endless responsibilities but also unimaginable joys. As I continue on this path, I look forward to the many more years of growth and happiness with my family. For those considering this journey, know that it’s a profound commitment that redefines the essence of work, reward, and love.
