Before I became a father in 2017, I dreaded the idea of changing diapers. Now, I find a strange satisfaction in seeing my son’s healthy digestion at work—it’s oddly gratifying. Before fatherhood, I used to write extensively about maternal experiences, sympathizing with the challenges women endure during pregnancy and childbirth. I felt guilty not being able to share the physical burden of pregnancy, and watching a C-section video was particularly uncomfortable.
Now, as a father, I’ve come to realize that being a dad is equally challenging. We’re up managing overnight duties from 11 PM to 6:30 AM, then heading off to our day jobs, and throughout it all, providing endless emotional support. I believe dads deserve more recognition for their efforts, contrary to the frequent media portrayal that often emphasizes a father’s shortcomings.
Fathers play a crucial role in providing for and nurturing their children, as well as supporting their partners. Despite the criticism, I believe that encouraging fathers is a more effective way to inspire them to embrace their roles enthusiastically.
Tips for Becoming a Better Father
Financial Discipline: If personal motivation isn’t enough, do it for your family. The costs of raising a child are constantly climbing. It’s crucial to secure or enhance your income to support your family’s needs through the years. Aim to master your financial landscape.
Time Management: Reject any job that offers minimal paternity leave. The early months of your child’s life are precious and demanding. Negotiate for flexible working arrangements to be more available at home, which is vital as your partner navigates postpartum recovery.
Dedicate Every Possible Moment: No matter how exhausted you might be from work, your partner will likely be more drained. Offer relief by taking over child care duties whenever you can, both before and after your workday. This not only supports your partner but also fosters a nurturing home environment.
Stable Home Environment: Avoid moving houses during pregnancy and the early months following childbirth to minimize stress. If you’re renting, maintain a good relationship with your landlord to avoid sudden changes that could disrupt your family’s stability. If buying a home, consider what would constitute a “forever home” for your growing family.
Community Engagement: Join father’s groups. Parenthood can be isolating, and connecting with others in similar situations can provide support and valuable insights. Shared experiences with fellow dads can be incredibly reassuring and enriching.
Continuous Learning: There’s much to learn about fatherhood. Read books and resources that offer guidance. Knowledge is not only power—it’s preparation. Stay informed to better prepare for the ongoing journey of fatherhood.
Be Proactive: Prepare for your child’s arrival meticulously. Work together with your partner to identify and acquire essential baby items. Being well-prepared can reduce stress and ensure you have more time to focus on your family when your baby arrives.
Be Fully Present: Engage fully with your children. This means setting aside distractions and focusing on the moments that matter. The quality of time spent with your family is priceless and fosters deeper connections.
Support System: The early weeks postpartum are critical. Be there for your partner consistently and consider support options like a postpartum doula, which, despite the cost, can offer invaluable support during this challenging time.
Fatherhood is not just a role but a journey. It requires patience, resilience, and a proactive approach to both challenges and joys. It’s about more than just providing—it’s about being present, engaged, and supportive at every step of the way.
