Feeling like a burden can really weigh on you, and it’s something I’ve grappled with for over a decade. After getting married, I found myself struggling with being included in my new family, and it’s been a challenge, especially as my wife may have communication difficulties due to being on the spectrum.
Recently, health issues like recurring colds and allergies have made things harder. These health issues, along with the rising costs they bring, add to my anxiety, despite the financial comfort we’ve achieved and the joy our children bring us.
Allergies are a huge part of this struggle. For instance, staying at a friend’s place with cats can turn into a nightmare of sneezing and hives for me. And planning to visit another friend’s home on the East Coast—where pollen counts are high—feels like preparing for battle rather than a vacation.
This year, I faced a tough situation when visiting a friend whose home also had pets. I tried to negotiate with her about possibly keeping her cats in a separate area during my stay to manage my allergies. When my suggestion wasn’t taken well, I felt deeply hurt. We couldn’t find a compromise, which left me feeling excluded and dismissed, contrasting sharply with how I strive to accommodate her at my place.
Despite the comfort wealth brings, it doesn’t alleviate the feeling of being a burden when personal relationships are strained by health issues. My experience underscores the constant negotiation between personal health and maintaining relationships, which is a delicate balance to manage.
Reflecting on this makes me realize how important it is to navigate these personal dynamics carefully, especially when dealing with longstanding friendships and family relationships. The journey to understanding and adapting continues, as does the quest for better allergy treatments that don’t involve heavy-duty equipment. Meanwhile, I’ll keep sharing these experiences, hoping to connect with others who might feel just as burdened by similar challenges.
