Dealing with money envy can be tough, especially when it seems like everyone around you is living a more lavish lifestyle. Have you ever felt this way? It’s pretty common. Money envy can really bring you down and make it hard to appreciate what you already have.
Just this morning, as I was taking out the trash, I saw my neighbor pulling out of his garage in a brand-new, $48,000 Toyota 4Runner Limited Edition SUV. Up until now, the only vehicle I’d seen him drive was an old, beat-up 1996 Honda Civic. The sight brought back a flood of memories from high school when all the wealthy kids had 4Runners, and I was just a kid on a bike. Back then, having a nice car seemed like a golden ticket to popularity and, embarrassingly enough, a way to impress the girls.
Instead of a flashy car, I had to rely on my personality, sense of humor, and other personal qualities to make my mark. Honestly, it felt like a drag. It’s so much easier when you have money, but deep down, it’s important to remember that our achievements come from who we are, not what we own.
My neighbor, the one with the 4Runner, is 33, married, and has a kid. They’ve been living in the same house for years, a property owned by his parents. Living in San Francisco, where real estate prices are astronomical, he stayed home to save money. He even spent several years traveling the world, likely funded by his parents. Now, he’s settled down and works as a restaurant manager.
Despite my mixed feelings about his life choices, I can’t help but feel a twinge of envy now and then. He’s driving my dream car from childhood, a luxury I could never afford on my own.
Lately, I’ve been tempted to buy a new car myself. Thoughts like “You only live once” (YOLO) pop into my head, making me question why I shouldn’t treat myself if I can afford it, especially compared to someone who earns less and still splurges. I’ve been responsible, saved diligently, and even retired early, all on my own. Surely, I deserve a reward?
But these thoughts are classic examples of trying to keep up with the Joneses—a trap I’ve managed to avoid until now. It took moving to San Francisco and seeing others around me to finally feel this way. At one point, I even felt sorry for my neighbor, living at home and struggling to get his life started.
Now, things have turned around for him. He and his family live rent-free, thanks to his parents, allowing them to spend freely on their desires.
When it comes to handling money envy, it’s crucial to remember that there’s a lot more wealth out there than we might think. The media often highlights the negative, making us feel better about our situations by comparison. Many people choose to keep their wealth a secret, which is a pact I follow as well. Income can come from various sources—regular jobs, hobbies, a wealthy spouse, or even government aid.
Flaunting wealth is less appealing these days, especially under recent administrations. You might encounter someone who loves to show off their possessions and income, but often, they’re either new to wealth or covering up insecurities. When you look past their facade, you’ll likely find less glamorous realities.
The best approach is to focus on what you can control. There will always be someone richer, but what matters is building your own wealth. Use the Joneses as motivation, not a benchmark.
After writing this, I’ve returned to my usual mindset. I love my reliable old car, Moose. It’s not flashy, but it’s practical, and I’ve kept it in great shape. Who knows, maybe my neighbor is a secret millionaire, but from where I’m standing, I made my choices and I’m content with them.
