Want to learn how to leave a job on your terms, including snagging a great severance package? Here’s a technique I call the “it’s not you, it’s me” strategy. It’s guilt-free because you’re taking on the blame, making the separation easier on everyone involved.
Guys often feel they must make the first move in dating. Even if a woman is interested, she might hesitate, missing out on what could be a great relationship. Then, she wonders why the guy never approached her. Well, approaching someone can be just as daunting for men!
This extends into other areas of life, like marriage proposals. Sometimes, a woman will wait years for her partner to propose rather than just asking him herself. We adhere to these social norms, even when they make us miserable. It’s interesting how these behaviors spill over into professional life, where I believe men sometimes have an advantage because they are conditioned from a young age to go after what they want.
How to Strategically Get Laid Off
When you’re proactive in the dating world, your heart might get broken. You might find out she’s chosen your friend over you. But with each setback, you care less and become bolder. This boldness is what helps you succeed in other areas, like work, where the same principles apply. The more you put yourself out there, the better you become at navigating promotions and raises—it’s all a numbers game.
Breaking up with someone who still wants to be with you is tough. Most relationships don’t end with a fairy-tale goodbye, much like most jobs don’t end with a gold watch after 40 years. We need to adapt to these realities.
It’s Hard to Leave a Firm
I find it challenging to break up with someone who is still invested in the relationship. If they were upset with me, it would be easier. Seeing someone cry makes me desperate to do whatever I can to stop their tears, sometimes to my own detriment.
That’s why I use the “It’s not you, it’s me” approach. It lets me take the blame and ease out of the relationship without making the other person feel worse. This strategy works for jobs too. Here’s how you can apply it:
1) Be delicate. You’re valuable to your company, so if you want to leave, you need to let your boss down gently. Maybe suggest meeting for dessert to soften the blow, or hint at a serious conversation so they’re mentally prepared for what’s coming.
2) Be conflicted. Don’t show anger even if you feel it, especially if your boss hasn’t followed through on promises. Act as though you’re disappointed in yourself for not meeting some invisible standard. This can make your boss feel guilty for not supporting you better.
3) Be adamant. If your boss tries to entice you to stay with promises of what’s to come, remember their past failures. Use these memories to reinforce your decision but keep your tone appreciative to avoid burning bridges.
4) Be average. Point out times you weren’t at your best. Overemphasizing these moments can lead your boss to consider you for a layoff, especially if it seems you’re not living up to your potential.
5) Be a little melancholy. When you leave, don’t celebrate too openly. Maintain a somber demeanor to avoid resentment from colleagues or bosses, which keeps your professional reputation intact.
Getting Laid Off Is a Skill
It took me months of planning and negotiation to orchestrate my own layoff. I was managing a significant part of the business, but I convinced my employer that my junior could take over effectively, saving the company money. We parted on good terms with a package that benefited us both.
Recommendation for Getting Laid Off
If you’re unhappy at work, negotiate a severance package instead of quitting outright. You could end up with compensation that includes extended health benefits, deferred payments, and even unemployment benefits for up to 27 weeks—providing a financial cushion that quitting wouldn’t offer.
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