When is the best time for parents to head back to the workforce? Nature might just have the answer, and it doesn’t require overthinking once you’ve sorted out your finances.
I’ve been chatting with a fellow stay-at-home dad in the neighborhood, Bob. He also has a two-year-old and we often exchange tips on fatherhood. Lately, we’ve been wrestling with deciding when to return to full-time work. It feels like we need a vacation from parenting!
Returning to work too soon means missing out on your child’s key milestones. Wait too long, and you might struggle to find a good job again. It’s a real dilemma.
The logical time to consider going back to work might be when your child starts preschool or kindergarten. This could be anytime from when they are two to about five or six years old. Having your child in school for several hours frees up some of your day, which could be perfect for easing back into work, even if it’s just part-time.
The first few years with your child are crucial since about 90% of a child’s brain development occurs by the age of five. The experiences they have during this time can significantly shape their future. So, if you can, being there during these formative years is invaluable.
Yet, not every parent can stay home until kindergarten. In America, it’s more common to return to work after just a few months. This is quite unfortunate, as those early years are so important.
On the emotional side, deciding when to return to work can be tricky. Family decisions are often driven more by emotions than logic. For example, some parents might choose expensive private schooling over more affordable public options, driven by a desire to provide the best for their child.
From my own experience as a stay-at-home dad for four years, I’ve learned that sometimes the best time to return to work is when you feel like your child doesn’t need your constant attention as much. For instance, hearing “No daddy, just mommy,” can be heartbreaking, but it also might indicate that having both parents at home might be more than necessary.
Being a stay-at-home parent is tough. I worry about the possibility that despite all my efforts, my child might not appreciate it. Children, especially very young ones, can be blunt in ways that can be quite painful.
After a particularly tough day, I realized that creating some distance when my son rejects my attention could be healthy. Previously, I felt guilty if I left home for more than a couple of hours. Now, I see those moments as opportunities to step back and let him have some space, which ends up being good for both of us.
When my son actively seeks my attention, it feels impossible to leave. But maintaining this balance helps me manage my time and emotions better.
In the end, nature might just be the best guide for when to return to work. When your child begins to seek independence, it could be a sign that they’re ready for you to step back into the workforce. This isn’t just about returning to work—it’s also about your child learning independence and how to interact with different caregivers and peers.
Every child is different, and they’ll let you know when they’re ready for you to make that shift. For me, deciding to return to work came naturally once the pandemic hit and changed our daily lives. I realized it might be time to start making money online again.
So, let your child’s behavior guide you. It’s amazing how intuitive they can be, helping us decide when it’s time to change our roles from full-time parents to balancing parenting with work.
