Why Tough Love Matters in Managing Your Finances
Years ago, I knew someone, let’s call her Nancy, who was discontent with her husband. To fill the void, Nancy started dating other men while her husband worked late. During one cafeteria chat, Nancy confessed she was falling for a man named Jack. Jack was charming, single, and something about him just made her heart sing.
What started as casual coffee once a month soon escalated to twice-weekly dates. On Tuesdays, they’d meet after work for drinks and dinner, and Thursdays were reserved for spin class followed by dinner, a movie, and sometimes more intimate activities at Jack’s place. Nancy wouldn’t get home until 1 a.m. every Friday, much to her husband’s dismay.
As an acquaintance, I knew her path would lead to trouble. But who was I to give her tough love about her actions outside her marriage? I wasn’t family or her boss. So, when she asked for advice, I offered a generic “do what makes you happy,” fearing I might make things worse if I intervened. I didn’t dare tell her to leave her husband.
Months later, Nancy’s husband followed her one Thursday and confronted them outside Jack’s apartment. He yelled, brandished a wrench, and struck Jack in the temple before dragging Nancy back to their car by her hair, berating her for being unfaithful.
They tried to mend things but ended up divorcing a year later, mainly because Nancy was pregnant with Jack’s child. Nancy’s husband aired their dirty laundry to everyone, even online, and Jack disappeared during Nancy’s pregnancy. It left Nancy devastated.
When I visited her and the baby one afternoon, she asked tearfully, “Why didn’t you set me straight? I needed some tough love!” Guilt washed over me.
Tough Love in Personal Finance
Many people assume they’ll somehow become financially independent without making a real effort. In reality, money doesn’t flow to those who need it most; it flows to those who work hardest and smartest in our capitalist society. If you’re in America or a similar place, you’ve got to accept that luck, intelligence, and hard work are what attract money. And once you have money, it’s easier to make more, which can frustrate those who haven’t made that head start.
Fortunately, the internet levels the playing field for anyone motivated enough to leverage technology and tap into endless opportunities. Even if you lack motivation, resources like mine provide free insights to help you gain perspective.
I’m frank in my articles because there’s no rewind button in wealth building. It’s about consistently making smart financial decisions over time. I could sugarcoat it and say buying luxury cars and saving 10% will solve everything, but that would be lying. Kindness is nice, but it won’t pay off all your debts or get you a better job. Sorry, but I have limits.
Don’t wake up at 65 with regrets. Time flies. And if you do find yourself old and broke, it might be because nobody cared enough to set you straight.
You want to be ahead financially? Someone needs to tell you the power of saving early and often. That’s why my articles are direct—because I care, and because I never want to relive another financial crisis!
By offering frameworks on making better financial decisions, I hope you’ll reduce your risk during downturns, get motivated to save more, and earn more if you’re behind. I’m not here to just write about problems; I’m here to help you find solutions. This is Financial Samurai!
Nobody Will Save You but You
Robert A. Heinlein said, “Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.” Think back on your mistakes and regrets. Do you wish someone had given you the hard truth, even if it stung? Or do you prefer to live in blissful ignorance of the consequences of your choices? Personally, I wish someone had shaken me up when I went too far with pranks in high school—it would have saved me years of college stress about getting a job.
I wish I’d been educated more about real estate downturns and how they can ruin your finances. It would have saved me from regretting buying a vacation property years later.
I wish someone had told me to stop day trading at work. It was allowed, but it hurt my performance and may have cost me promotions. Yet, I didn’t learn until it was too late.
Now, I wish I had someone to guide me in navigating online challenges and missed opportunities. But everyone has their own battles to fight, so I’ll figure it out myself.
When someone gives you tough love, listen. They’ve probably been through what you’re experiencing. Thank them for taking the time to give you valuable advice. It’s easy for them to say nothing—giving tough love hurts. But remember, it’s the people who care about you who bother to say something.
