When my son was born in April 2017, I made a commitment to be a full-time father until he turned five. This decision meant making some significant sacrifices, including selling a property that was intended for my retirement with my wife. When my daughter arrived in December 2019, I pledged the same commitment, setting up a life where I would be heavily involved in their early years. Now, with my daughter starting school in September 2024, I’m transitioning from full-time to part-time fatherhood and reflecting on these past seven years.
Being a full-time father means prioritizing childcare over work. For instance, if a dad spends most of his week caring for his child and only works part-time, like driving for Uber a few hours at night, he’s considered a full-time dad. On the flip side, a part-time father might work a full-time job and spend a smaller portion of the week with his children. Regardless of the hours, the essence of fatherhood doesn’t change.
It’s important to recognize that neither type of fatherhood is lesser. Many fathers are working hard both at their jobs and at home. However, the reality is that most dads are still expected to be the main earners, which can limit their time for childcare.
The main goal here is to affirm that it’s okay for men to be full-time fathers if they choose. Despite societal pressures and financial concerns, embracing this role can be incredibly fulfilling. It’s still quite rare, though, with only about 2% of dads staying home compared to about 23% of moms.
Embracing full-time fatherhood can be daunting. It means less income and, often, a hit to one’s social status because our society still holds certain biases. But for those who take on this role, the rewards can be profound. It offers a unique opportunity to be deeply involved in the formative years of your children’s lives.
However, the job isn’t without its challenges. It can be isolating, especially since most primary caregivers during weekdays tend to be mothers or nannies. This can make it hard for full-time dads to find a community. Also, transitioning back to the workforce can be tough after an extended period at home.
Despite these challenges, the moments spent with your children, watching them achieve milestones from their first words to their first steps, are priceless. These experiences often outweigh the sacrifices made in terms of career and personal time.
For those considering this path, know that it’s not a lesser choice. It’s a meaningful commitment to your family. If you’re worried about the logistics, like finances or job security, planning and preparation can help. Some even find that leveraging periods like this for personal development or starting a new venture can lead to fulfilling outcomes.
So, for any dad pondering this life change, it’s worth considering. Whether you decide to stay at home temporarily or for an extended period, the experience can be deeply rewarding, not just for you but for your whole family.
