One of my friends, Peter, recently shared that he’s engaged. He’s 37, she’s 28, and they clicked four years ago despite a slightly boozy start at a bar. Peter’s not the model from a magazine, but he’s got a kind heart. They’ve been engaged for two months with plans to marry next summer. Everything seemed perfect until Peter’s fiancée, Nancy, brought up upgrading her engagement ring.
So, two months in and Nancy is already thinking about a ring upgrade. She’s tiny, with delicate fingers, and yet the beautiful 1.2 carat, princess cut diamond on a platinum band isn’t enough? It already cost Peter a tidy $10,000 and looks stunning on her.
Peter’s not rolling in money, but he does own a decent condo in San Francisco. He brushed off her request casually, agreeing she could have whatever she wanted. Behind his easy agreement, though, he’s thinking maybe in twenty years. That’s Peter for you!
Nancy isn’t exactly wealthy herself, working as an aerobics instructor and making about $48,000 a year. A 1.2 carat should be more than substantial by most standards. I find myself wanting to tell Peter to rethink the relationship—if she’s this high maintenance now, what about after the wedding?
Peter is smitten though. He jokes about her being young and playful with such requests, and feels incredibly lucky that someone like Nancy would choose him. He thought he’d remain single forever if he hadn’t met someone by 35, so for him, Nancy is a blessing.
Is love really enough to overlook such early warning signs of high maintenance? Maybe, for Peter, it is. As his friend, I’ll support him, though part of me remains wary of where this path might lead them. After all, if they’re not careful, financial disagreements about things like an overly expensive ring upgrade could foreshadow more challenging issues down the line.
