Obsessing over being the best can actually rob you of happiness. Ever found yourself striving to excel in everything, only to feel down when things didn’t go as planned? I’ve been there too.
In high school, my history teacher, Mr. Stanton, was a huge influence on me. He awarded me for being an outstanding student, not because I was the best academically, but because I was always engaged and curious. However, when I received the award, some classmates mocked me, which really knocked my confidence. As a result, I didn’t study much for the AP History test and ended up scoring below what could have earned me college credit. Mr. Stanton tried to reassure me, emphasizing the importance of pursuing what I loved regardless of others’ opinions. This incident made me realize how external pressures could deter us from our interests.
The sting of failure is much sharper when you’re desperately trying to be the best. Throughout college and my early career, I pushed myself to the limits to excel academically and professionally because I felt I wasn’t smart enough. This relentless pursuit left me exhausted and ultimately led me to quit my finance job at 34, seeking a more balanced life.
Now, I’ve traded in the long hours for a more relaxed routine that includes writing, consulting part-time, and enjoying hobbies like tennis. This shift has convinced me that an obsession with being the best isn’t just unhealthy—it’s unsustainable.
There are compelling reasons to aim for average instead of the top:
1. Education: Attending an expensive university doesn’t guarantee a high-paying job. I chose a more affordable college, which significantly reduced my financial burden compared to peers who are now deep in student loan debt.
2. Physical Appearance: Growing up attractive can set unrealistic standards for maintaining your looks. Gaining weight or aging naturally becomes a source of stress if you’re expected to always look your best.
3. Wealth: Being wealthy often makes you a target for judgment. People may scrutinize how you got your wealth or expect you to live a certain lifestyle, which can be isolating.
4. Sports: My tennis team once won a city championship, but when we didn’t repeat the success the following year, the disappointment was overwhelming. If we had been a mid-ranking team, simply making the playoffs would have been a thrill.
5. Career: At work, only the bottom performers are typically at risk of being fired, unless major changes are happening at the company. If you’re not constantly outperforming everyone, you can still enjoy job stability and satisfaction without the constant stress of needing to be the best.
6. Writing: As a blogger, I used to push myself to publish extensive, insightful posts three times a week. But the pressure to maintain high-quality content consistently was draining. Now, I advocate for setting more realistic expectations to avoid burnout.
Chasing perfection in every aspect of life is a surefire way to disappointment. Perhaps it’s time to consider that being average might just lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. After all, if you’re constantly worried about failing or not being the best, are you really living at all? Let’s start enjoying life’s journey without the heavyweight of being the best.
